During an interview (about losing weight and getting in shape) a reporter asked me "How proud are you of what you have accomplished?" I answered, "I'm not proud. I am happy about it. I am grateful. And I do defend my time in the gym -vehemently. But, I was in a burning building and someone hauled me out. It was a prison break."
I am not just being modest. I am not too humble to see that I worked at it. Maybe if you have never been there you would think staying as I was, was effortless. It isn't. It is like shoveling snow in a blizzard, using all the wit and strength you have and getting nowhere, losing ground mostly.
Have you ever watched a baby learn to walk? They fall over and over. In a way, all of my failed attempts to lose weight were like that. But, in every corner of my mind, all the corners of my world all I heard was "Stop Falling." It's idiotic. Who learns this way? So, I'm not really "proud" that when someone pointed the way out, I listened, I did what I could to assist in my own escape. But without someone better and stronger and wiser than I was I would still be stuck there.
In fact, the truth is that even now I end up in the burning building some days. I have more experience now and usually I can put the fires out on my own. A good workout usually does the trick. But, not always. So, I do my best to always have an "emergency exit." When the heat and stress of life, work, relationships, illness, and injury erupt beyond my ability to manage, I spend less time lamenting my flaws and more time calling in reinforcements. Do I feel the sting of other people's opinions and judgements of the money, ego, time and resources this costs me? Yes, I feel it. I hear the voice in my head that says "when are you going to be able to handle a crisis on your own, like other people?" This is how I handle it. I don't stand there wishing there wasn't a fire. I get the fire out. That's my reward. I don't care who gets the credit.