A Parade Via Sweat Equity

One year ago today I was sobbing on the treadmill @ Renzo Gracie PA, a place most would describe as an MMA gym, but one that often serves as my cathedral.  I was in between clients last December 5th, getting my own cardio in, as my playlist gave way to frenzied alerts and notifications.   My lifelong friend Anthony Ceccomancini and the love of his life very narrowly escaped death as their home and everything except their pets, a box of important documents, and their cars, succumbed to the wildfire that engulfed them.  Over the next few days while sharing the gofundme link that my high school lab partner and fellow thespian Amy Jo initiated on their behalf, I posted that I would “personally host a parade in honor of their neighbor, Jacqui Bally.”  The Bally’s delayed their own get-away as Jacqui fiercely pounded on Cecco and Elise’s door at 4am or so that morning.  She saved their lives.  So, believe me, that parade is happening.  But, not in some showy display that Cecco would never abide.  Indeed, every time throughout this year that I have asked, “What else I can do to help?” Cecco emphatically responds: “Just keep sending us your love and support.”   I can’t stop there.  Maybe it is all those drama club rehearsals where TL ingrained that “show; don’t tell” discipline; maybe it is the outgrowth of far more recent lessons where exercise serves as exorcist, but I confess that I have been in cahoots with Elise Drozdowski to find a way to both repay the heavens for their escape and restore their spirits as they work through recovering their hearts and home.  I created a Charity Miles campaign and asked Elise to help me choose a charity that Cecco would want to support.  After a little covert action on Elise’s part, we selected Habitat for Humanity.  All the donations come from sponsors, so I am not soliciting money; just miles.  I am donating all of my miles between now and December 5, 2019.  Please join my Charity Miles team #findyes or download the app and simply choose Habitat for Humanity as your charity of choice. 

THANKSGIVING

It was tradition—going to the big NPHS Thanksgiving game. My dad was driving us since it was at South this year. He lived for it. The former star quarterback in my hometown, he went to college on a full ride, and ultimately made a career as a coach and PE teacher.

After the game we head back to the car. To avoid the crowd my dad decides we are taking a shortcut over the 8’ barbed-wire fence. I say nothing in front of my friends but I look at him in horror. By 15 there are about 180 pounds on my 5’3” frame. (Despite our victory I know this game is rapidly going south.) My dad demonstrates scaling the fence; then he pops back over to help me and my friends. One by one they are safely on the other side. Now it’s my turn. My worst fears are realized. I cannot boost myself over. I get impaled on the top. My friction-worn jeans are actually frayed on the inseam; I end up literally hanging by a thread in front of my entire high school. My dad’s glory-reliving is decimated. He is ashamed of me but too good to say it. It is a long, hard, tear-fighting, pie-foreshadowing drive home.

That stranded sophomore never dreamed of ending up here* on Thanksgiving: stronger inside and out; with enough medical excuses to satisfy even the strictest gym teacher and absolutely no desire to use them. Thank you, Josh and Sara and Greg. You have given me the New World. Happy Thanksgiving!

*I anonymously posted this on Thanksgiving 2007 on the wall by the water fountain in my gym. But, the management tore it down as soon as they saw it- probably because they refused to promote individual trainers. Have to add "virtual walls" to the list of things I am thankful for.

Black Coffee & Calendar Magic

Whether it is hanging up in the kitchen, sitting on a desk, or flashing alerts in your iPhone, if you are like me you are a slave to your calendar or more accurately, calendars: all striving to manage work schedules, kids’ schedules, activities, etc.  So, what about your health and fitness plan...does it even appear in the mix?  Because in my case:  If it is not on my calendar, it is not in my life.  No amount of hoping, thinking, or dreaming gets it in.  At minimum, I have training appointments and classes that are entered by default; they might get edited, but they have to be carved into the week.  If I don't defend that time, trust me it gets sucked up by chores or work or traffic or errands, etc.  You know how it is you look back at the day and think...what happened, my list is so long and I am totally exhausted and  out of time.  It is almost demoralizing except that when I do take the initiative the calendar can be MAGIC.   Registering for races taught me that.  I can be working out all along, but as soon as I circle a date for an event, something clicks.  It is with me moment to moment, not in a worrisome way, just reinforcing that little adjustments in nutrition, exercise, sleep, habits, all make an impact.  There is deceit in a bad habit that tells you it won't matter.  But when I am training for something specific I am rarely taken in by it.  The next date for me is November 16th.  It's not a race actually it is something totally different; this time my brain needed a challenge and my body needed less running.  But, the date is the key to unlocking the little adjustments to get ready, like stretching on my own, taking glucosamine, and, maybe not so little--drinking black coffee.  It took me until today, day 25, not to miss it.  But, after three decades of "light and sweet" I guess 25 days is actually pretty miraculous (and so is deleting 3,750 useless calories 150 x 25 days of Coffeemate)  So, put something on your calendar, something just for you, after all shouldn't your calendar-- translation-your life- have room for you?

How to Lose 50 -100 Pounds Without an "Extreme" Team-Step 1

I have a confession to make.  I DVR Chris Powell's show Extreme Weight Loss (EWL). Compared to other weight loss "reality" shows I guess the fact that they follow a person for an entire year and do not pit one trainee against another for money appealed to me.  But, still all of these shows, including EWL drive me crazy. I can't get passed the underlying message that to succeed against obesity you have to be removed from your real life- which just isn't an option for a regular person.  So, by default  the rest of us are reduced to spectators; I hate to break it to you but fitness is never going to be a spectator sport.  Honestly, fitness isn't as extreme as obesity itself and it doesn't make for great TV.  But losing 50 or 100 pounds is as possible (and repeatable)  as losing five pounds but in real life you don't put the project on hold while you wait to see if you have been selected.  Step 1: You Select Yourself.   Give yourself the year that Chris would require from you.  Not a year away from your life but a year that injects strong support, a sound diet, regular exercise, and measurable incremental goals into your life.  Look in the mirror and say the words Chris says "I choose you."  Then, immediately find a partner whether it is your doctor, trainer, best friend, Weight Watchers leader, employer-sponsored wellness coach, etc. arrange for support from the beginning.  Go to them and say "I choose you."

Summoning a forcefield around you

Little did I know when I signed up for next Sunday's race that I'd be spending this weekend at Fox Chase Cancer Center.   I thought this race was all about Mike and his triumph over sarcoma, over seemingly insurmountable edema, atrophy and excess weight.  Yet, here we are, still reeling, with nothing left to try and no reason to hope.

But, even still, before I join them, in the wee hours before daylight I get up and clean my house.  I make two healthy meals,  And, as I drive the opposite direction to Pine Grove, I barely hear "old me" wondering why any of it matters as my Uncle suffers in the hospital and my family grieves by his side.

What I hear without question is that I am pushing everything that is alive and strong and safe and warm I am summoning it out of me into the air and rooms and battles of these people I love.  I am summoning the miracle that happened to me as a forcefield around this Uncle, this Aunt, these cousins.   I am summoning every calorie and muscle that can lighten a burden or forge a trail as a buoy for my family, my friends, and  my clients;  to surround you today or any day when you have pain or fear so that you can change what you can and accept what you must.  And, in honor of my race team, I will NeverQuit.

And I know this is not "old me" or "new me"  I know this is "true me."

There is Always Something You Can Do Day-August 17th

Even though the Keurig is broken, I hit the spin bike by 5am. My bike is half the price of "a real Peleton" so I really can't be sure of my RPMs, resistance, or output.  I mirror the speed the app lets me see,  I trust my breath, legs, and sweat to dictate the rest.   During the 45 minute ride, there are just a few stray thoughts of current events, work, and other worries, but I deftly push them away.  And as I do two brighter ideas replace them:  1) When do I get to do this again?  2) What can I do today to make life better even if it is just for one person?    

The day's sessions go so well that my work doesn't really seem like work.  My clients are leaving obviously feeling better than when we started.  The whole way home I am excited to have time to work out again,  But, it has been a week since we stretched and my hips are starting to balk.  Oddly enough, this doesn't cue up the "my body is my enemy..." loop tape in my head.  Instead, I schedule an hour with the other genius.  

Ten hours & two workouts into the day I realize that I forgot to eat until now. John makes me two organic eggs and two strips of non nitrate bacon.  He asks me if I want toast but I honestly just don't.  

It's almost midnight and the day is done.  It's the best There is Always Something You Can Do Day Ever.  After all, this is my something.  Might seem like nothing to a lot of people.  But, it's everything to me and all because of you.

Never Stranded

"...As this dusty road now settles

And I see what lay before,

Every tear that held a broken dream

Is now shattered on the floor.

And now bursting forth in splendor

Are the blossoms of second tries..." 

 -Moving Forward by Colony House

It's hard to FindYes personally or professionally after months of feeling stuck.  Just when I thought my injuries and obstacles were fading, new ones arose.  I find myself going to even more specialists sacrificing precious time I'd rather spend working or working out.  I feel lame and worried.  But, I know that is quicksand for me.

How could I turn these NOs into YES?  The tactics I usually use: managing stress through cardio, training for a race, or tackling a new mountain or stretch of beach seem so out of reach.  So, I started with a list.  A list of everything that wasn't working.  My NO list.  In my own training and training my clients I find that we have a really hard time with setting constructive goals.  We are much better at getting specific about "the bad stuff."  That's trouble if all we do is endlessly cycle through our fears and frustrations, never taking any action (except eating which is worse than inertia.)  But, making a NO list as a way to get unstuck works.  It helps us prioritize and identify next steps. Even if you're skeptical, try it.  What is holding you back today?  Is it physical, like pain, illness, or sleep deprivation?  Is it logistics, like running out of time or not having the budget for the programs you really need whether they are fitness or nutrition services or help with kids, chores, etc.  Maybe it's more internal, like holding on to behaviors that sabotage your health and fitness.  Don't buy another book, video or diet without making this list.  Don't borrow someone else's path or priorities.  Take five minutes and ask yourself-- if you could change three things to make fitness easier what would they be?  That's how we get to YES!

What's My Secret to Losing Weight?

When you are a stress-eater who gets overwhelmed to the point of paralysis, worrying isn't just upsetting.  Worrying is dangerous. We get fixated on obstacles and inadvertently the focus shifts to: how I have less time to workout than I used to; or how the economy influences my training budget; or the infuriating truth that age & metabolism are stacked against me. That my friends is physical &; emotional quicksand for someone like me. I sound like gym members I talk to every day: dreamers who have goals but don't translate them into steps.

My secret is getting past worried to angry. I think of the people who make up the heartbreaking statistics on obesity, I think of the girl that I was, and all the girls like her, and in my head I hear HOW DARE YOU!  How dare you-- obesity, economy, injury, how dare you rob these people (including me) of their health and happiness!  And I refuse all of it.  I refuse to believe that "everyone gains it all back."  I refuse to concede that "there aren't enough hours in my day."  But most of all, I refuse to consider this plight as trivial.  Fitness is not a summer romance novel that I indulge in after all the "important" things get done.

 To put that in perspective immediately without spending any time or money, I take a nylon drawstring backpack and fill it with a weight that equals 5% of my current body weight.  I wear it after work and weekends so I can really FEEL what it is to knowingly and willingly carry more weight than I should and of course so I can FEEL the relief and energy that comes from putting that extra weight down.  The simulation compels me to make other small changes that have a definite impact on the scale and on my priorities.:  I trade in my pajamas for clean workout clothes for the next day so I can make the most of my early morning cardio and quell my sleepy 5am excuses.  I chew gum during times when I am prone to snacking, I add a bar bell to my back when I'm on the elliptical.  I let my stomach growl. I schedule overtime around my training sessions even though I work in sales.   In short, I translate goals into steps and I avoid the quicksand.  If I have a weight loss secret it is really a bunch of little secrets that all say the same thing:  Fitness is not an extravagance. Fitness is life &; death.  Act like it.

Your Inner Demons May Say “NO"...

My trainers banished certain words in their presence.

Josh (my first trainer ever) outlawed the word “can't.” Greg taught me not to constantly apologize . So, at least in the gym, I rarely say "sorry" or let my trainees say it.

I'm working on “should” now.  

Not the explicit “should” but the voice in my head that constantly criticizes…you know the one…

“you should be… 

better or faster or braver… 

you "should” be

able to finish or accomplish much more…"

This critic inside me doesn't ever help me with yes.

Who can be inspired or inspiring if they feel small and pathetic?  

I may never be faster or better or smarter or braver. 

But I am inspired and I know I'm living proof that miracles happen.

There is no earthly reason why someone like me loses 100 pounds, falls in love with running & can't keep it quiet.  There are plenty of people with more talent & ability about most things --but not about that.  That's the point.  I'm not special or particularly gifted and I did it.  I drowned out my inner demons-- you can too.

Turn No Into Yes Despite Injuries, Restrictions and Setbacks

When injuries occur, the pain isn’t merely physical. What starts out as a mixture of infirmity and adrenaline-withdrawal, is compounded by the deep seeded fear of an epic relapse into inertia and obesity.  Part of recognizing that your body is not “the enemy” is acting like an ally when problems arise. I can’t let frustration fester but I also can’t train on as if I am 100 %.

Honestly, being debilitated is barely survivable. So, more and more injury prevention is a top fitness goal. It’s not flashy but to someone who solves a 30-year food addiction with a daily endorphin fix it is crucial.

Having spent most of the last year hurt (and angry about it) I can attest, I actually train more not less. It’s not a financial decision for me. It’s necessity.  Address rather than ignore your symptoms. Keep the same workout schedule but modify the exercises.

Figure out what your absolute threshold is and how to protect it from actual enemies--especially the voice in your head-- that recklessly sacrifices anatomy to ambition. Remember we are playing for keeps.

January Doesn't Count

Despite many resolutions, declarations, purchases and promises, January behavior never changed my level of health and fitness.  All of these aspirations were stuck on "the calendar."  They never made it onto "MY Calendar."  Registering for my first race taught me the difference; that a date circled on "MY Calendar" is like magic.  And that magic turns NO into YES.

Even if you haven't seen this in your fitness you have worked this magic.  MY Calendar is what happens when we plan a trip, a move, a wedding, and even dreaded things like funerals,  operations and rehab.  No matter how work or school or politics or weather bombard us, we Find Yes because "MY Calendar" always supersedes the calendar. We flex time, we make a way, we get help, we Find Yes-not someday but NOW.  We just typically, culturally don't apply this concept to fitness.  But, we can.

To merge "the calendar" and "MY Calendar" I chose twelve issues that interfere with my own fitness and are common struggles for my clients.  Although instinct nags at me to wait until all twelve are ready to publish, I am defying that instinct for perfection for the action of progress.    So Hello February 3, 2017 turns out you are now number one.

Exercise = Happy U Magazine Winter 2017

 

You Can't Fire A Girl on a Mission-- Part 2

In September of 2013 I learned that my department in corporate membership was summarily disbanded and that I would be interviewed for other positions in that company.  But, how can you stop a girl on a mission?

I had been promoting fitness before they ever hired me.  I have to do it.  It’s impossible for me not to.

Since April of 2011, I had been doing this for a major fitness organization call center.  I was grateful.  I had learned a lot.  But, I knew I could do more--because I was not just working on commission, I am working on a mission.  Every single day I talk to people whose ideas and schedules and budgets are screaming NO even though they want to (or even temporarily do) say YES to fitness.  Believe me; I don’t need a sales script to inspire them.  I AM them.  I have been obese, injured, broke, overscheduled, unmotivated, and unconvinced.  I have put my infant in the play room even though I was nervous; I have cancelled my cable in order to keep my gym membership; and everything in between.

I know management likes everything to be uniform.  No matter how I crunch the clock, I can’t be. But, our studio isn’t typical either.  I know the standard is for forty hours but I promise I’m going to defy the standard anyway.  Maybe you can too.  There may be ideas and schedules and budgets that say NO but we all know YES is still in there.

PS: To my amazing clients @ Arborcrest.  You Are Yes.  Every single day in Blue Bell you make dreams come true.  You better believe that's a two way arrangement.

71 Days

Note: My friend and colleague Andy Ambruch has entered the 2016 Ultimate Men’s Health Guy Contest.  For those of you who know my story but don’t know Andy, the most telling anecdote I think is that when I was totally incapacitated with plantar fasciitis and frustrated beyond belief, Andy (whose schedule was over full already) trained me in the pool where we worked at PSC Highpoint.  Literally helped me get back on my feet again.  And then 8 months later ran my Broad Street long runs with me on weekends (just twice so as not to repeat my past mistakes.)   To be the picture of health and fitness takes an amazing amount of determination and hard work.  To have the vision to see that picture in everyone else and relentlessly strive to carve it into being well, that is rare magic indeed.

Confession time.  I’m not voting for Andy for Ultimate Men’s Health Guy because he deserves it. (He ABSOLUTELY does of course but many of the contestants probably do   Big deal.)  I’m voting for Andy because WE deserve it.

WE have lost too many fathers, grandfathers, brothers, and friends to the rat race that takes our endlessly adventurous fort builders and flag football quarterbacks, geniuses and jedi, farm boys and superheroes, and reduces them to workaholics, frequent flyers, patients and invalids. 

We need a different body on our magazine covers.  Not a model but a role model for real health and fitness that endures through, NO expects adversity and makes you believe that there are dreams waiting for you on the other side. 

That today you can be great at your job, be counted on by your family, and make time for the run or game or class or mountain that makes you glad you’re here.  And that it is never too late because “The sun comes up every day…”

And for the next 71 times that it does I am summoning all the wives and sisters and daughters and mothers who sit in cath labs and rehabs and churches.  We have 71 days to stand up and say:  “It is going to be different for my son…”

Put it on your calendar people.  http://ultimateguy.menshealth.com/entry/36/

How to Lose 50-100 Pounds-Step 2-Healthy Eating

Step 2: Make Healthy Eating a Way of Life

Truth, I lost 100 pounds in two years.  But, eight years later I still basically eat the same.  Initially I used Weight Watchers, but any sensible plan is just as valid.  The trick for me was choosing something that would work in any situation.  In other words, pick something you can stay on weekdays and weekends, whether you cook or do takeout, at home or when you travel.  Because, if you don't you'll quit.  Quitting for me was not/is not an option. Quitting is the same as saying "I plan to gain back every ounce I lost and more."  I had to choose something that I wanted to stay on for good.  OK, maybe "wanted" is a stretch because I didn't want to be on a diet any more than I want to be on a budget.  But, physics and economics don't care about what you want.  They simply deal in cause & effect.

So, pick a plan that is going to let you have a life.  That doesn't mean it is easy.  Change is hard. But positive change is cumulative too.  So, even though there were things about my program that I resisted, I could phase in these changes and make steady progress. (Just like you can take baby steps to gain financial security.) I have to admit, one of the things I resisted most  has been recording all of my food.  Not because I was cheating.  But, because I had obsessed over food for so long I just wanted to live like someone who never had an issue with eating.  And, it worked.  I could make enough substitutions and exert enough portion control to get to my goal.  But, ten years later I don't see a food journal the same way, or even generate it the same way- thanks to technology.  So, what was once a chore and a stigma to me now seems a lot more of a resource to see how I can do even better.  And, don't stress about the mistakes.  That is why this is Step 2 and not Step 1.  By making weight loss a team effort in Step 1 you are setting yourself up for permanent success whether today is a good day or not.  You are not alone against a culture that is brainwashing you every day to use food for things food can never really accomplish: comfort, celebration, entertainment, company, etc.  You are creating a new culture for yourself that says, really food has to just be fuel for a life where people and actions will provide all the comfort, celebration, entertainment and company I need.

The Big "IF"

" To Believe is to Be Strong.

Doubt Cramps Energy.

Belief is Power."

(FDR to Churchill

in the HBO Film Into the Storm)

Two decades of dieting, binging, resolving and retreating don't only wreck the metabolism and compromise our health and confidence; they prove that we lack credibility with others, with ourselves most of all.
So, when we see success stories, new weight loss plans, best selling books, or great promotions at the gym that motivate us to launch into yet another fitness campaign--how to sustain the effort is the big question.
When the initial rally fades and we want to throw up our hands-- so much of it is driven by self doubt. The best ammunition I ever got for conquering my weight issues for good was when my trainer told me:

"It is impossible for it not to work.

If you do what I say it works every time."

Of course, that is a BIG "if." But, it got so much smaller that day.

New Me Versus Old Me

1. Imagine "New Me" is your best friend.  
2. Be honest with her no matter what.  
3. Recognize her hard work and success in spite of setbacks and frustration.
4. Defend fitness as her absolute birthright.  
5. Feed her body and soul with the best ingredients.  
6. Surround her with people who do the same.  
7. Don't let anyone underestimate her- especially "Old Me"
8. Have patience- for life has seasons of blatant growth and quiet root building
9. Schedule FUN-sing, dance, laugh and cheer for/with her.
10. Honor her dreams-Remember--I can see her when some can't and I swear she won't let you down.

Merry Christmas Genius-You Know Who You Are

  Merry Christmas Genius!  You already know practically everything I would say as a trainer and a client.  I am blessed beyond my measure.  Training would be amazing even if all that happened was that the future changed so much for the better.  But, like Christmas, training takes the past too and mostly revises it. So these old wounds and scars that once caused so much pain and regret: being obese, being fired, being injured, weak and ever-so-convinced that nothing would ever change--they cease being the offenses they once were and ultimately become the map that saves not just your own life, but that of anyone who follows.

Commit to Yourself & Get Paid for It!

Experts know the value of keeping a food diary when it comes to weight loss.  Studies (like one conducted by American Journal of Preventive Medicine) show that people who record their food intake 6 days/week or more lose twice as much weight as those who did not.  But, did you know you can get paid to track your nutrition?  From your smart phone, you can access PACT an app that links to My Fitness Pal. 

https://www.pactapp.com/

PACT allows you to make a commitment like tracking your food every day; and if you keep your PACT, you get paid $1/day (not to mention the health benefits that should inspire such goals)

How does it work?  You set up a penalty for not meeting the commitment which is linked to your credit/debit or Paypal account.  If the $1/day isn’t enough to motivate you; PACT has shown that paying the price (again the health/wellness costs should be enough, right?) for missing the mark keeps users highly motivated.  But, not everyone-- of course, that’s where the reward money comes from.  So, commit to positive change & get paid for it too!

Dancing on the Edge

And so it goes, the demon is never too far away. It's the one that circles and tempts you into a feeling of false complacency, the feeling that you can eat what you want and you don't have to run or do any work out if you don't want to. It keeps edging its way into my success and trying desperately to sabotage the best of my healthy food choices and exercising goals. The demon invites you to the dance. It spreads its arms in perfect posture begging you to enter into its hold. It seems so enticing, beckoning you into itself, promising you that sugar and lazy hanging  around are deserving treats and will only take you a turn or two around the dance floor for a little while.  Not too much pressure just  gently letting you in to begin spinning around, languishing into yourself, dancing around the very thin edge of a spiral only to be sucked into its vortex of false promises.

Today I woke up in a sugar stupor. Too much picnic food and not anything remotely healthy. Frankly my recent unhealthy choices were not as bad as previous years, but what I discovered is that I don't have to eat as much as I once did for me to get drunk on sweets. Yes, I use the word drunk because I realize now how toxic sugar is to my body. First, I woke up not feeling good, second my thinking was hazy and not clear, third, I continued to make poor eating choices until late in the afternoon. Then, something inside me made me want to stop dancing.   I made the decision, with help from someone who understands the dance, that  this current dance party was over.  I had to physically make myself leave the floor, put on my sneakers and run, yes run to shake off the urge to continue spinning out of control.

What I know for sure is that this dance will probably beckon to me again since most of my life I have chosen its steps. But I have a new partner that is gaining strength within and setting me up to call out the demon of the spiral before I step out onto floor. Commit to success it says because that is the only dance you have an invitation to attend.