I did it!

About 60 days ago I made a commitment to hike the Pinnacle near Hamburg with my husband, my biggest supporter, and two special people who bring only goodness and light to me on my journey. It was a goal I set for myself to train for and to work toward. Yesterday was the day of the hike and we could not have had better weather, no wind and temperatures in the 50's. I must admit I was nervous and fearful that it would be too much for me. At the very least, I am dragging an extra fifty pounds around, finding any incline to be a breathing challenge.  Yet here I was committing to hike the Pinnacle. Yes a pinnacle, an apex, acme, crest, peak, summit or any other synonym you might name; they all mean ascending upward. Fear began to rear its ugly head, and because I opened that door, it came seeping in stealing away my inner resolve. I really had to fight its takeover of my ambition, training time and commitment.

The Pinnacle is a 9 mile section of the Appalachian Trail that is moderately difficult because of its rocky terrain  and steep incline. I was told that it is the most difficult part of the AT in Pennsylvania. That being said it wasn't easy, and I remained determined but breathless much of the way up. The rocks are more like giant boulders at several parts and one needs to carefully find a sturdy foothold to cross their path. I had help and encouragement although fear occasionally leaked its message inside my inner resolve wanting to take over my  determination. With quiet positive encouragement from my team,  I found  a way across the "scramble" a section of the trail that is pretty much a path of boulders and sometimes, for me, needed to be approached on all fours. The reward for this humble crossing is one of the most exquisite vistas I have ever seen. The beauty of nature at its best viewed from atop a bluff like perch is nothing short of awe inspiring.

Of course what goes up must come down but we took a less steep trial on the way back where I was able to carry on good conversation and take in some of the view. I was tired but buoyed up by adrenaline and an awesome feeling of accomplishment. The wonder of "I did it"replayed its message over and over in my mind until I got it and held onto its reality. I had won over the fear. I refused to let it stop me and I immersed myself in the ever present moment of the now relishing my accomplishment.

It was not until the car ride home that the true message of the hike became my next aha moment.  Yes that was a big accomplishment, but in reality it was more like a metaphor for my life's journey. I could see it clearly as I reviewed the days journey up the mountain. At first it was slow going, a lot of baby steps on the way up, much like my dabbling in diet aids and quick fixes for an easy outcome on the diet path. Next things got a bit harder, larger boulders, steeper rock forms and the path not as clearly marked; my stops and restarts, discouraging weight loss challenges, health issues, no weight loss for weeks, hopeless feeling of not knowing how to get rid of this demon, where should I turn next. Oh yes, then the fall,  I was tripped up by a rocky path and took a spill. I didn't get hurt but it reminded me of all the times I fell on the journey toward healthy living, getting tripped up by useless fixes and misinformation. Finally the scramble, where the boulders make the path to the peak a bit more challenging just before the summit, yet kind words and strong hands directed me forward. That's what I was doing before the shift, scrambling around for the path of the quick fix, making excuse after excuse for my obesity and lack of exercise. I fought it hard, down on all fours praying for the easy answer and it didn't come because there is no easy in life. To see the  view at the Pinnacle I had to scramble on hands and knees, to view my weakness I had to really admit my lies and reconcile with the truth which is, there is no magic. But there are  people who know the trail, whose sage advice and quiet confidence shed light on your path and  allow you to experience success. Stick with them, they are the voice of knowledge and expertise, they are the difference in Finding Yes.

 " If you do what you always did, you get what you always got".  Yesterday I did what I never did and I got what I never got. I got the picture in the beauty of the climb and the reward at the peak. I am still learning about the beauty of the climb on my journey toward wholeness but I know what it looks like at the top and I can't wait to get there.